“He doesn’t love me anymore! At least not like when we first got married” Narra cried. She was angry with her husband and couldn’t find many redeeming traits left in him. As time progressed, Narra withdrew more and more until she decided that the relationship was just too hard and kicked her husband out of the house.
About four months into the separation, her husband found a new girlfriend which only proved to Narra that her husband never really loved her and gave her more reason to file for a divorce. The pain was real and seemingly consumed all of Narra’s time and dominated her conversations. Caught in the middle was a 3-year-old little girl who didn’t understand the grief that weighed heavily on both of her parent’s souls.
Before long, Narra and her husband began fighting over finances and who ought to have custody of their daughter. Again for Narra, this reinforced what a bad person her husband was because of his perceived cold, calculating lack of care. Frustrated, Narra began dating other men but clarified that she “was very picky as she didn’t want a ‘messy situation’ where there were half brothers and sisters who would have other parents involved.” She soon found that this was near impossible and ended up in a deeper depression.
This is when Narra met a couple that works with Power to Change. As she got to know this couple, she was perplexed by the idea that this couple actually got on well and truly loved each other. Ah, Narra thought, “if only my husband had treated me like that, then I wouldn’t feel this incredible loneliness in my life.” Before long, Narra started asking about what happens at a Power to Change marriage conference and how it had helped other marriages. This led to a discussion of some relationship principles but more importantly, the source of hope and help for our marriages – learning to walk with Jesus. Having never really been to church, it was clear that this was a new thought for Narra. Of course she wasn’t perfect but the marriage breakup really was all her husband’s fault, wasn’t it?
Out of curiosity, she started to engage in a small group Bible study to learn more. Recently, at a small group study she shared: “if I had known some of these things about God and how our family of origin affects us, we [Narra’s husband and her] would still be married today – I wish I had never asked him to leave. I am so lonely and it’s so hard to manage. I never see my daughter and she’s being bought up by everybody else and I never planned to be this type of mother. I never thought that my life would go like this!”
Narra’s story breaks our heart but it’s not uncommon throughout Australia. Millions of families are experiencing this kind of break up, loneliness and regret every day. For Narra, it was this brokenness that has helped her to start opening her heart to the Lord. God has begun to heal parts of Narra’s heart but there is still a long way to go. Having experienced such incredible pain though, Narra is now a vocal advocate for getting help in your marriage and learning about how a relationship with Jesus can help change your life. She knows that while life was never meant to be like this, Jesus made a choice, out of love, to came down from Heaven and join us in our messy lives in order to help us find a better way.
